Rolling Thunder

A THANKFUL FAREWELL

I am so exhausted with the consistently of the inconsistent yo yo that seems to be my life now. When your head feels like it is about to explode, I question if tomorrow will just be more of the same. It seems to be the case.

Issues and problems seem to be more of the norm. I am very sure that it all starts in my mind and the picture that I see is much different than reality. It seems like I live in two worlds, one of my perception and another that is reality. My apologies to everyone that I have hurt or offended. I have meant no harm to anyone. I hope this does not come across as a excuse because this is the space I exist in now. I hope that soon I will find a solution that will make everyone’s life easier.

I am considering something that runs against my moral belief, but I think that God is a loving God and I ask his forgiveness. He answers our prayers.

Please, don’t think of this as a selfish act…it is an act of love. I am a tired old man who needs to move on for many reasons. I love my family so much and I don’t want to hurt, offend or embarrass any of you with actions that are not from my once good thinking.

It has been a story book life for me from my beginnings with the greatest mother and father a boy could have. Brothers and sisters that took care a each other as we learned about life.
My beautiful wife, I will always love you…you are a gift from God and the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. This will be hardest for you but I will always live on in your heart, and that memory will be of the love and joy… Not the torment! I don’t want to say good bye

My sons..Thank You for being such wonderful young men. So honorable and good…Grandpa’s are proud …they and I will walk by your side for eternity . I love you both so much and will miss you. Your fantastic families I love so much…My grandsons have wonderful mothers wonderful mother and I appreciate that so much. I worry about your health and will be watching over you. Your boys need you.

My beautiful daughter you are the one I have missed so long and so much and I know that you will be greeting me with a hug and your beautiful smile. You, your grandparents and all our relations
will make your dads transition smooth. I love you baby girl…

All my grand babies…I love you all so much. You are all a very special gift. You each carry a part of me…like it or not! You are each so special and gifted. Your life is about choices some hard and some easy…the choices you make along your life’s journey determines where you will end up. Think about your choice ! I love you all so very much. This choice I am about to make is based on the path of this terrible decease , Alzhimers…it robs you of your brain. You slowly become another person… I want you to remember your grandfather as I was. I love you guys soooooooo much.

My friends, and I have been blessed with so many. Forgive me for saying good bye in this manner…it has been so sweet, and I will see you all on the other side! I love you all.